Saturday, November 21, 2009

Funhouse Mirrors at the Gym

I was working out tonight and couldn’t help but notice a guy who had apparently forgotten to work out his lower body- since the beginning of time! He was strutting around the gym to the point that I had to look away because I was giggling at how strangely out of proportion he was. He looked sort of like an upside down food pyramid…or really any pyramid for that matter but I instantly thought, ‘Hmm…he could really use a potato or something on the bottom! He was actually an attractive looking guy, who I imagine, was probably very good looking in high school. He just screamed out ‘guy who someone made a comment to him about having small shoulders when he was 15 and he had been working out his shoulders and back ever since!’ I rubbed my eyes to see if it was just the mirrors distorting him into a Popeye looking figure!…nope! Not the mirrors… He looked like he had been squeezed from a tube of toothpaste and splatted out the top. Even more interestingly, he was working on…guess what?…yes! His shoulders and back!…I wanted to yell out, “Dude! Work legs for a few months! Lay off the shoulders! You’re going to topple over!”…Luckily I didn’t…because that would’ve been rude!

I kept working out and noticed an older lady (likely around 55 or so?) She had obviously been trying to keep herself in shape for many years. That was very commendable! The trouble with older ladies keeping themselves too skinny is that there is often nothing they can do about enormous breasts that have dropped like lead weights to their hips as they dance out of time with each other in the mirror while she is doing chest fly’s. But her yellow hair and short shorts looked good. Maybe she was just doing physical therapy for…well…likely for whatever injury a 50 year old woman would get from working out with barbells too heavy for a man. Again…it doesn’t seem nice to notice these people and I am actually quite impressed that they take an interest in staying healthy! I suppose my main problem is that I worry that since I’m a fitness junkie and have been since I was old enough to drive, when I get old, I’m going to turn into one of those people who looks like I should likely stop trying to be a size 2 anymore. (and don’t get me wrong…I’m not a size 2 this week but will likely be 2 weeks from now! I’m like that!) Besides, whose grandmother needs to wear a wife beater and moccasins to the gym? Oh geez…I hope I have the sense to through away my moccasins when I turn…well…the century…

All in all though, I had a great workout! It’s my favorite thing to do.