Thursday, March 29, 2012

It's not MY fault...

I have often watched and wondered as people use anything and everything to get out of an uncomfortable situation. It’s an ageless problem. When we’re kids, when our mothers catch us doing something wrong, our instant response is to tell her something that one of our sisters has done in hopes that it will be bad enough to make our offense seem much smaller. When we are teenagers, the words “she got me in trouble for…” come up again and again. I remember getting pulled over one time for speeding and being very angry at the cop who pulled me over. A wiser lady asked me if I was mad at the cop, mad at myself for speeding, or mad that I had gotten caught. Um…interesting…BUT…that cop didn’t need to be sitting there that day while I drove quickly by…Of course it was his job. “He got me in trouble!”

It never ends. People need to have someone to blame their actions on. Have you ever talked to a guy who talks about “his crazy ex wife?” I’ve actually caught myself walking away thinking, “Poor guy. His wife was crazy!”…I have a feeling that she wasn’t all that crazy. Don’t get me wrong…I have met “crazy” in my day. In fact, I believe it’s very possible that that same guy drove his wife to “act crazy.” He may have just left some of the story out- he may have left her alone with his children while he stepped out night after night into a bar and hooked up with young girls. Perhaps he told her that she wasn’t good enough for him because he had a “high pressure” job and “guys like him usually have hotter wives.”…Maybe he walked out one day for good and she called a few too many times to ask him how he could do that to her and their children?? He can blame the end of his relationship on the fact that she was crazy all he wants to but the fact remains that if everyone you meet is “crazy”, you might want to take a look in the mirror to find out what’s making them that way.

So why are humans so afraid to take responsibility for their actions? If we speed, it might be our fault that we got a speeding ticket. If we cheat, it might be our fault when the person we have cheated on throws a rock through our window. What is so scary about admitting that we did something that we aren’t proud of? Do we need to fluff up our feathers and walk around telling our life stories with twisted details in order to feel good about ourselves? I knew a guy who used to tell so many stories about his life that when someone would ask him a question regarding his personal life, he would pick up his drink and sip it slowly while he scanned his “lie rolodex” in his mind. It was obvious to me that he was getting his story straight in order for it to match previous stories that he had told the specific person. He was a VERY smart man so he did this quite well. I had to wonder how a less educated man would pull it off though. Of course a less educated man probably wasn’t trying it on overly educated women so there are probably different degrees of the “formulate your lie, slow water sip.” All in all- it’s very hard to maintain an alter ego that is so different from the real you. So much work goes into creating and maintaining each story that I can’t imagine that it doesn’t become overwhelming once in awhile. I wonder whose fault it would be when he screws up his story and gets caught in a lie?...I’m sure it will be the “crazy” girl who questions the validity of the story who will eventually “get him in trouble!”

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's just another day?

I ran into an acquaintance in the store today. I smiled and asked how she was. She said in a matter of fact way, “It’s just another day.” Oh my!...I thought in that moment, how easy is it to turn a day into “just another day” and how many of those can we afford to have? If we throw away this day, one day has the potential to turn into months...maybe years. I’m not sure we have that much extra time to waste. What is your definition of “life” or “happiness?” Is it all about just making it through? It seems like a huge waste to me. Michael Jackson died at 50. How tragic. What’s more tragic is that by definition, he had it all. We need to be careful not to calculate the value of our lives by analyzing what we have. We may have one day to toss away to feeling lonely or sad but the next has got to turn around. I like to find one thing in every single day to notice as something new and fresh. Maybe people aren’t as willing or creative as I am in this area…well…cause honestly sometimes I’m downright ridiculous! Like for example: I have been known to be able to dance and kickbox...but sometimes just spinning around the living room with a great new tune on,like I did when I was a kid, is enough to make me feel like one again. I let my arms go limp and turn in circles without spotting anywhere special on the wall until I fall down laughing. Note to self: This can actually be much more dangerous than you may think. Be careful not to slam into the wall or the coffee table ('s happened). But then again…if you do, I am certain it will be a day of notable happenings! I took a walk today and looked up at the sky. I do this all the time. It never looks the same as the day before! There was a huge black cloud over the tops of some brightly sunlit trees! It was absolutely amazing. Some people would’ve noticed the black cloud but I saw the sun that was shining from the opposite direction as it reflected the treetops as a message that there was something always shining through the darkness as long as I am willing to see it. I would suggest that if you ever take a moment to try this, you turn your music down a little because you just may get run over by a car. But then again…that would put an ironic twist on your day and I assure you it would most definitely not be “just another day!”