Thursday, July 23, 2009

Darn Law of Attraction!

I went on and on yesterday about how I liked to go shopping out of town so I wouldn’t run into anyone. Well! Cocky little thing that I am, I decided that I could run out to the store near my neighborhood with dirty hair and a workout outfit. I figured that if I kept my eyes to the floor and was careful to adjust my regular perky stance to one of disinterest, I would avoid any human contact. I was standing in the pasta aisle (cause where else would I be?) and someone said, “Well! Hello!”…ignore her…ignore her…She repeated, “Hello!”…darn! foiled!…I was busted. There was no way that she couldn’t see me even if I closed my eyes and pretended to be 3 inches tall. I needed to turn on my personality. We stood there and talked for about 20 minutes, me, with nothing in my cart as I moved from side to side of the aisle to allow angry shoppers to pass me. “Hi! Thank you. Excuse me. Hi! Thank you. Excuse me…giggle” …Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the conversation, but I was really not in the conversation mode when I arrived on the scene! We said our goodbyes and I looked at my watch to see how much time I had to finish my quick shopping trip. Relieved that I still had a few minutes to get what I had on my list, I dashed off to the next aisle where another lady struck up a conversation with me. (Darn law of attraction. I brought this all on myself by talking about it in my blog yesterday!) I tried to simply say, “Hello! It’s nice to see you. Have a great holiday”, then continue walking, but it wasn’t in the cards. She said, “Did Mary tell you that she lost her cat?”…Oh my God!…(I thought to myself, ‘this isn’t happening. There is no topic less interesting to me than cats!…I’m sure this is just a dream.”)…”She just had to put him down last night!” she continued. (wait…I thought the cat was lost?…What the heck?) “That’s too bad”, I replied. We talked about barn cats, hunting cats, cats that keep people from being lonely, kids who like cats, the way cats make little fur balls out of their winter coats, what cat food cats prefer,…the musical “Cats” (which, by the way, was the only thing I actually knew about cats, though I was quite certain that I’ve never known anyone who had a cat that could sing the song, “Memory.”) My mother has a cat in the house these days though. I’m not sure how that happened? We were always the sort of people who thought that having animals inside a house where people lived was detrimental to the well-being of man-kind…BUT- now there’s a damn cat in the house. One day, the cat disappeared while my mother was out of town and we spent 3 days searching for it. My sister even left her headlights on as she searched the acreage by their glow so my mother wouldn’t worry while she was out of town. 3am, I got a call from her telling me that her battery had died and she wanted me to pick her up and drive her home. Freakin’ cat! I told her to take my mother’s car because there was no way I would be picking her up for such a stupid reason. Oh well…the cat is still alive…and in the house…and furry…and eventually I’m going to have to feel like crap about this because there’s really no way it will outlive me. Again…a great reason not to have cats! It’s hard enough to keep people alive, let alone caring about something with the life expectancy of something like 20 years?…and the brain the size of a…well…cat’s!…I’m just saying that cats don’t seem to know enough to stay out from under cars!…Oh well…I digress!
So my shopping trip…I finally slipped through the line with my nearly empty cart and my dirty hair an hour or so later. I don’t even remember why I went to the store…but I don’t think I got it. I’m sure I’ll be looking for whatever it was that I needed later. Better luck next time! Note to self: do your hair next time you go to the store!! Even more, next time I don’t want something to happen, I will definitely not write it in this blog! It’s a magical blog that makes every wish come true!…What we complain about, comes about!…