Three 30-something Girls…and a baby…

I went to see my nephew today. My sister is definitely feeling the stresses of the 24/7 nature of a baby. My friend and I thought it would be nice to give her a little break and let her take a nap!

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 0

We went for a long walk across the tiny island we call NYC! We made it about 2 blocks and the baby needed to eat.

Calia: (in ridiculous high pitched baby talk...) Just a second baby!

Baby: (unreceptive to what seems like a reasonable request) whine….

Calia pushes the stroller a little faster and the ‘SUV of strollers’ slams into the base of a scaffolding and spins around throwing her onto her friend’s foot!...oops…sorry!...ouch…I’m sure I probably broke her toe but she’s pretty nice and will never tell me. I will likely be taking her to a foot doctor next week but won’t recall why.

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 1

We made it to the park and sat down on a bench and gave him his bottle. That went very well. We took turns holding him and taking pictures as though we were tourists who had just found a baby in NYC. I assure you that we looked like we just found this baby too. When the bottle was gone, we weren’t sure if that was all we needed to do. My friend’s phone rang. It was her mechanic:

Friend: The car’s done? Great!...wait…I have a 7 month old baby here. Do we have to burp him or is he self burping at this age?

People were watching as we laughed…even the baby was laughing at us by now!

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 2

We put him back in the stroller and continued our walk. We got to the seaport and it was absolutely beautiful. The baby was happy and fed and enjoying the 95 degree heat!...wait…just then he started getting a little warm and the sun was in his eyes. We decided to duck into the air conditioning and give him the rest of his bottle. We sat down inside and gave him a little more formula.

Calia: Wait a minute… Maybe he needs changing??

Friend: Oh my God! (she says laughing) You mean we can’t take a baby out for the day and just feed him and that’s it? I’ll check the stroller for diapers.

There was no diaper bag. We laughed even harder.

Friend: (jokingly to passersbys!) Excuse me! You don’t happen to have any wet wipes and diapers do you?

Now…everyone knows that passerbys in NYC really don’t think people who talk to you are all that funny! Of course we were still laughing and that was really all that mattered. They didn’t reply…but I did see one of them trying hard not to acknowledge us with a smile!

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 3

We decided to head back home! The baby was really fussing and warm by now and we had quite a walk back.

Calia: (Noticing another lady pushing a stroller and carrying a diaper bag, she says under her breath) Hey. I’ll distract that lady. You take her diaper bag!

My friend laughed… then looked at me as if to question whether I was joking or not… and decided against stealing the diaper bag. I was kidding…sort of! Besides…I knew she wouldn’t do it. She’s quite a stickler for the “rules!” The baby was really fussing and upset now so I had to pick him up out of the stroller and carry him. How hard could that be? He’s only 21 pounds and we only have a couple miles to go!...um…Oh!...

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 4

…Sweating…baby…getting… really… heavy…

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 5

Two Childless 30-something Girls: 0 Baby: 6

We decided to put the calmed baby back in the stroller where he fell asleep. Within minutes, we made it back home. Sleeping babies are really easy! This baby stuff is cake!

Note to self: Never ask someone like me to watch my baby one day!...and get a Nanny!