Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Impersonal Life

Well…I’m a little worried that I have a learning disability right now. I never had one before…but I wasn’t born in the 90’s so they weren’t diagnosing “being a kid” with ADD, ADHD, etc….yet! There was a tiny struggle in 10th grade with proofs but then I figured out that if I actually listened to the teacher while she was talking, I did understand them and got a 96 on the regents exam. So what is wrong with me right now?…I’ll explain: A friend of mine suggested that I needed to read a book called “The Impersonal Life” by Joseph Benner so I could start meditating or mellowing out and focusing on myself a little…actually…I may be making that up. She didn't tell me why she wanted me to read it and I’m 28 pages into it and still don’t have any idea. I haven’t understood a single word of it. Here’s an example of a sentence and you can tell me if I need to get the money back that I spent on about 10 years of higher education. Possibly I have grounds for a lawsuit against the university? Here goes:

“Yes, I AM You, Your SELF; that part of you who says I AM and is I AM;”

uh…WTF? Possibly people have been texting me too much? For some reason, every time something is in caps, I scream it in my head! The strange thing is that this book is advertised as having saved Elvis Presley’s life. …wait…didn’t he die at like 39 or something? Oh crap! …and there is a Graceland version too. Maybe he had the cliff notes or something? You can’t tell me that Elvis was “deeper” than I am? That doesn’t seem right! Wasn’t he the one who was “All Shook Up?”

This is just great! I get a book to help me meditate, take time for myself, relax, not have to be so productive in mind and body all the time…and I’m looking for the cliff notes! I do rush through things sometimes. I think that is also why I hate to date. Some people like the adventure of getting to know someone…they crave the “newness”…I’m just the opposite! I’d rather be issued the cliff notes so I can study ahead so I don’t have to read the irrelevant fine print. I like comfortable…known…being able to complete each other’s sentences. I guess that means that I skip over all the good parts? Oh no! I do that in life? …Well! Isn’t this a fine how do you do? I hate all this self-reflective garbage! It’s like I always say… “You don’t die of anything until you’re diagnosed with it!”

…well…at least now I don’t have to read that darn book!…I got the point. I am going to flip to the last page and see how it ends though! ;)