Saturday, May 2, 2009

Not my type?

I was talking to a friend today who said he knew a guy that he thought would be interesting for me to meet. I know how this usually goes and apparently no one I know has ever met me…hmm… He told me that he had recently bought a new jeep. (DING DING DING DING!)…I bet he has a dog and likes the woods too!

For some reason nearly every guy that I’ve ever found a little bit attractive has driven a BMW sport utility. I could meet someone out at any given evening and if he seems the least bit interesting to me, he always gets into a black BMW sport utility at the end of the night - Without fail! It’s happened probably 5 times in the last few years. I’m not exactly sure what it is about these guys. I know that it isn’t about money where I’m concerned. It’s got to be their exacting nature and the innocent, pretty look that says “I’m a very nice guy…and I’m going to completely screw you over with my emotional unavailability and lack of need for anyone in my life!” Yummy! Not only that…for some reason his name is usually longer than mine from having actually added syllables to it instead of shortening it like any Jimmy, Johnny, Butch Bob…! I LOVE THIS MAN! …as for the Jeep guy…um…sorry…did you really remove your doors? For god’s sake man! No doors? You don't see my BMW guys taking off their doors...unless of course some irresponsible driver of a Ford Focus pulls up next to them in the Marriott Parking lot (while they are camping) and dings one...then they have it towed to the nearest dealer and cut their trip short!

So my mother called today and said that I really need to make sure that I lay off Fr.Cutie! Come on Mom… That was like putting a speed limit sign in front of my crazy sister! I had no intention of even addressing the subject about a man whose last name so perfectly sums him up! Yeah…I go to church each week with my Catholicy Goodness and my envelopes. It’s a huge part of my identity. But…these Priests are men first. They go into the seminary as young boys and believe their calling is enough. How many men do you know that got married at 22 and are still married? Imagine if your wife was God! He’s got to be hard to keep up with. You let your guard down for one second and you accidentally make a mistake and the next thing you know, he’s forgiving you but reciting a whole bunch of rules he wrote on rocks so many years ago that now they are past practice! Priests are people too!

As for my mother…did you mean not to say anything about him or to not go after him? Don’t worry about that…he looks like he drives a BMW…but I don’t even go out with guys with ex-wives! I don’t think I’d touch this one! I’d hate to come home to find my bushes burning on my stove…!