Let me get this straight...

How many people are mowing my lawn? The guy next door came over and asked me for some money for mowing my lawn…wait a minute…I just gave $60 to his cousin for mowing my lawn. This happens with snow plowing too. I have to wonder who is really doing all this work? I don’t mind paying someone to do it, but shouldn’t someone decide who that is? I suppose I should just start doing it myself…but I’m not a huge fan of the outdoors.

I run into all sorts of guys who tend to talk about how “they are outdoorsy guys” and think we’d be perfect for each other. Is this another instance of people not hearing me? ‘Outdoorsy’ does not a boyfriend make in my world. It makes a ‘maintenance man.’ …he’ll say, “but…I’m also very handy around the house!”…Excellent! Here’s $50. My porch steps need painting.

I think that there is a disconnect between what people perceive as “perfect” for me, and what I’m attracted too. I guess that once you’ve been single for a number a years, people just assume that your list of dating criteria has to have been chipped away at, and anyone who is single will do. Nope! That’s where people have it wrong. I think that once people get really good at being single, the list of criteria becomes more important! In fact, I’ve even added some. The pitch-matching test is a must now! I used to joke about it, but as I get near the relationship in which we might be talking about having children together, this is extremely important! No one wants a kid who can’t hear the octave leap in the “Happy Birthday” song at parties….I’m just sayin’…

oops…It seems that I have gotten off on a tiny bit of a tangent…I was talking about my lawn. Should it be costing me $300 a month? I’m going to bring it up at the neighborhood watch meeting next week and assign only one person to the outdoor maintenance task!…I’ll also ask that they stop allowing people to climb in through my windows… and maybe call to remind me when garbage day is too…This stuff really piles up when holidays fall on a Friday.