Saturday, October 3, 2009

I Don't think it's "Happily Ever After"…

My friend, who from here on out I will be referring to as “girl who’s no longer my friend (GWNLMF), decided that it would be fun to talk to a guy at a political event last night who I am overwhelmingly disinterested in, and tell him that she thought that he and I would make a great couple. Uh…thanks… for nothing! Are you CRAZY?…how many hours have we spent on the phone talking about this?…Oh well…He came up to me and asked if I had gotten over my fear yet and said something about me not liking what he looked like. I replied, “No. Actually, you are a good-looking guy and the type that I would think was attractive. I just don’t like you. I don’t know what it is but there is absolutely no chemistry at all.”… Was that not straight forward enough? He said that we should go to dinner and try…um…no…we’ve tried that! I’m not going. Some would wonder if I’m being too hard on the guy. Nope. I have been here with him 5 or 6 times over the last 7 years. We just don’t have any connection AT ALL! Too bad too! He would really make a lot of sense for me…if I could stand him. I think the trouble is that he keeps trying to explain the fact that the first time he met me, he told me that I was a diamond all covered in manure with a thick layer of nail polish on it. He tried to explain it again last night! He said “You have so much baggage and you can’t see how beautiful you are but I can.”…um…hello! Stop trying! That doesn’t make it any better for your cause! Telling a girl that you see her as someone who has baggage and a low self-image seems like a bad plan! I’m lucky I even have a purse…baggage isn’t exactly the term I’d use to pick me up! I’m so light and free that I would actually need to be anchored with sandbags to even continue this conversation. Instead…I giggled, closed my eyes and said, “blah, blah, blah, blah! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! Blah! Blah!” When I opened my eyes, he was gone! Do you think he told the next person he spoke to that the reason that we aren’t together is that I have baggage, a low self-image, and I’m really childish?…oh boy! I can’t catch a break on this one! As for GWNLMF…are you kidding me?…remind me the next time I visit a prison ward to take your phone number with me to hand out!