Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is Silence really better?

I know that guys and girls think completely differently, but I still struggle with that age-old problem that weights on my mind: lack of communication on the part of a “dumper.” People are very reluctant to give their ex’s closure for some reason. I’m not sure if it’s just that they want the other person to deduce what the right words would be since they have no idea what they are, or if they are unsure about their decision to be 100% done with the person. Either way- it really leaves people out there wondering “what if?”…I was talking to a friend about it today and we decided that these people are time wasters. Don’t get me wrong…they aren’t wasting their own time due to the fact that they have likely already moved on. They are probably just keeping you hanging in there in case. People like this simply keep someone extra on the bench for as long as they will stay there. I have to say that I seem to end up on so many benches that I feel like I’m waiting for a slow boat to China to return. As a matter of fact, I can actually count 6 guys in as many years that have gotten engaged and married to someone else while I thought that we were taking it slow and getting to know each other. Clearly my sense of urgency in this regard is a touch out of whack. Apparently “taking it slowly” has a different meaning to each person. To most of the people I’ve met, it means, “I’m dating someone else seriously but if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be right here right? My mother would like you.”…of course…I’ll just sit right here. Can I write you an essay… take out your garbage… possibly make you and your girlfriend some dinner or something?

So what is the issue with the lack of ability to be able to commit to the end of a commitment? I’ve decided that I need to help women all over the world by writing heartfelt closure letters to girls for guys who are getting annoyed that their ex’s won’t stop texting, calling, and emailing things like, “I’ll always be here for you!”, or “Why won’t you talk to me? I can’t believe we just can’t be friends!”…everyone knows that you can’t go immediately to friends but it’s a great idea if you’re looking to transition from bad to worse. Believe me! When one of those “friends” starts dating someone else, you need to start the breakup all over again!…and the crying…and the “I can’t believe you did this to me!”…My letters simply put closure on the relationship in a kind way that a woman would read and understand. Even though it hurts in the moment, she will finally have her answers and be able to start to heal…instead of contacting you every single day because you are giving her the silent treatment. Silence means something completely different to a woman than it does to a man. Just tell her! She’ll go away…or do you like the attention you get when you can tell everyone that your ex won’t let you go?…interesting…