Wednesday, December 9, 2009

That’s not in your character!

I find it very interesting that people form opinions about others from what they have in their own mind of who they should be!…I’ll elaborate: When Friday comes along, I do a fun little joke striptease for the secretaries in my office. It brightens their day. It’s not like I take anything off and it is clearly nothing sexy by any means…it’s just a joke that sets up a fun weekend. Well! …I was telling a guy I know about it and his reaction was that of utter horror…or should I say “utter whore!”…He said with a judgmental tone, “That’s interesting. It just seems out of your character. I can’t believe you would do that!”…um…Has he met my character? I have a degree in theatre. Which character is it of which he speaks?… It wasn’t as though a singing joke striptease with tae bo moves and a time step was exactly provocative! AND- it was definitely in my character!

I pondered this issue. Was my dating out of alignment due to the fact that many people at my age already have their lives in order to the extent of having everything (other than that final piece of the puzzle) the way they want it? Does this force us to try to fit someone into our already pre-made lives instead of meeting someone and syncing up as individuals who have chemistry? In this case, he clearly was looking for his idea of a perfect woman. One who would do a joke striptease isn’t her…but one who would do a joke striptease may be able to be changed into one who wouldn’t do one…but “he’s not judging!” Don’t get me wrong here…women do this too! I have definitely taken guys out of the running the first time I’ve met them for taking part in behavior that I am not into…ie: a guy dancing with a table number or his tie on his head while he is drunk at a party! – I find this extremely uncool. Come to think of it, I don’t think I can take my own advice on this one. I cannot date the tie on his head, drunk guy! There is no redeeming himself in my eyes after that. I’m sure there are plenty of girls who want to date the life of the party. Personally, I prefer the friendly, family loving, stick in the mud!... I suppose that I have my life the way I like it, though I still leave room for a chance at a start. I’m not looking to find someone and move him into my house or become his secretary in his business. I sort of have a picture of building a life with someone instead. Possibly that’s why I like guys who haven’t already established themselves in a set future. I would really like the opportunity to grow together and not just be molded to fit.

So what role would the guy I want to be with want “my character” to be?…Hopefully he will take the time to find out what my character already is before he decides whether or not his and mine can co-star in the same act together! We could all learn a lesson from this. Sometimes what we think we need for ourselves isn’t exactly what is best for us. Maybe he would’ve benefited from spending a little time with my bouncy, un-sexy striptease self who tap dances and giggles a little too much!…or maybe I could benefit from spending time with the guy with the tie on his head??…um…no thank you!…the tie does not belong on your head…but it is worth opening my mind once in awhile!


Steve said...

Peoples characters change, or at least mature like fine wine in some cases. I really like the comment about 'growing together', but has anyone established themselves in a set future? That would really be a case of running headlong towards a tripwire, and I would hope that anyone worth knowing would be aware of that.

What people do doesn't change who they are. Like someone for who they are, and find your place with them based on what they do. If a guy has a tie on his head, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get to know him, but it does mean that you may not be considering him as a potential suitor. Back to my previous comment though, life can sometimes surprise you.