Too Friendly!

I know that I am always complaining about people who aren’t friendly. You know?…No eye contact from a cashier…holding the door open for someone and having them act like I should’ve done it anyway…someone beeping their horn at me as I sit in a line of 1000 cars at a tunnel or bridge into NYC as though I was the one who was holding up their pace!…oops…sorry sir…I just thought I would wait for the traffic in front of me to move before I turned my car into Chitty-chitty bang bang and flew over this mess! My mistake!…BUT…I actually ran into someone today who was TOO Friendly to the point that I drove to a different neighborhood on the way home in case he was following me.

I walked into the store and in the produce department a man caught my eye and very energetically said, “Hi! There she is! How are you? Have a great day okay?"...well...that was nice!...I was pleased by his friendly nature and walked to my next destination – the juice aisle!…I like all natural juices. The ones that cost about $11 an ounce because apparently someone has taken extra care to not add deadly toxins to them. Thanks guys! Call me picky, but I’m trying to cut down on the deadly toxins!…Would you believe that I ran into the same guy? He caught my eye and said, "Well! Twice in one day. How are you! Hey! Have a GREAT day okay!?"...um...okay...Thank you…This time seemed a little over the top since it had been a matter of maybe 2 minutes since his first greeting. I smiled and thanked him and walked away, this time a little less confident that he wasn’t an ax murderer.

I continued my original quest for hot chocolate and butter as I dismissed the eary feeling of the apparent fact that my grocery store was doubling as a mental ward. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. That guy was just being nice. I’m sure people think I’m too friendly sometimes.” I think that often people worry that friendly people have ulterior motives for being that way. I’m sure I have made people feel that way before. One time I saw a kid walking down the street in the subzero temperature and pulled my car over and gave her my coat. She was a little taken back by the gesture but put it on graciously…and probably took it off as she got around the corner. The little puke! Oh well…I had many more coats. I actually give my sister a coat almost every time she comes over. Funny thing is that I’ve never actually seen her wear one. Duh Calia! Oh well…Too nice…I didn’t want anything in return. Of course I have to wonder if I did? Possibly I just like the feeling of being friendly and taking care of people?…I guess that is my ulterior motive then. I kept playing the scenario over in my mind as I pranced, all smiles, through the grocery store. I came to the conclusion that the guy was probably just being friendly….feeww…!

I got around the corner and put my groceries on the counter to be rung out. As I set the last one down, a burst of energy and condiments came pouring onto the counter behind mine. “HI! THERE SHE IS! HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY OKAY?”…The look on my face must’ve been one of utter confusion as he repeated himself again with his expression all toothy with vibrant excitement blasting from his hurried jolliness to just have happened to run into me here today!…I paused…and then smiled and thanked him…and then bagged my own groceries which I threw into my cart and bolted out of the store to the safety of my “just friendly enough” environment! Ah…I looked into the mirror to see if there was a reflection of a raging psychopath in the backseat…nope! No psychopath…just the ungrateful twirp I call “me”, who clearly couldn’t take it when people don’t carry themselves with the exact amount of niceness that’s comfortable for her!…Oh well…