Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Runny Noses aren’t Sexy!

Everyone gets sick once in a while. The trouble is that when you have to sing ALL THE TIME, there is really no room for it. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing like a nice deviated septum to help form a crystal clear resonance, but it leaves little room for a mid-winter clogged head! So there I was, wearing a beautiful velvet dress, my hair was in flowing blonde locks, I was wearing the right shoes (I know because my toes had fallen asleep and I was 3 inches taller than usual)…Ah! Perfection!…Other than not being able to sing a note…or breathe at all. That’s beauty at its best! I reached into my bag, that luckily has everything anyone would ever need in it from phillips head screwdrivers to shoe sole grippers and an inhaler, and took out my emergency Afrin stash that I always know better than to use! I couldn’t be stopped! I squirted it into my cloggy useless head. Within a minute, I could breathe. I felt so much better. I was standing there laughing and talking with my band mates and in the middle of a laugh, I let out a snort…Now that’s as classy as it comes! Clearly my nose was a little too dry but the snort was the perfect topper for my look! Yes…sick is HOT! Every guy clearly was whispering to his friends, “I need me a piece of that!”…ah…shucks…thank you! (giggle…giggle…snort…drip…)