I can’t describe the feeling I get when I wake up in the middle of the night to find that my sheets haven’t stayed tucked into the bottom of my bed. I jump up and remake the bed as though I’m a mad housewife demon. I know what you’re thinking…How could anyone really care all that much?…What?…I definitely care. Don’t get me wrong- I always keep “a ventilation foot” out of one side of the bed, but the covers need to be neatly on the bed while I sleep. I can wake from a dead sleep and find myself annoyed at the bedspread monsters that have pulled the sheets and blankets from my neatly tailored slumber machine.
The question is though…How could something bother me so much while I’m sleeping? Am I actually the princess from “The Princess and the Pea?”…Should it be re-titled “The raging blonde girl and her defective square corners?” I thought of sewing the sheets to my bed but I decided against it because I thought that I might not make it to the bathroom as easily as I may need to…not to mention that keeping a seam ripper on the night stand next to my glass of water doesn’t seem like a logical necessity. Forget that one for a second though: The bigger issue is the nagging realization that has been so clearly pointed out by this: I am an extremely inflexible girl when it comes to wanting my things the way I want them. Is this an age issue? I wonder if 21 year old girls freak about their sheets falling on the floor?…Of course a lot of them are so used to sleeping on whatever floor they’ve accidentally dropped their pants on in their drunkenness, they may not realize that it’s more comfortable to lie somewhere where a coffee table doesn’t knock them in the head when they get up to answer their text message in the morning while they figure out where the heck they are… Oh well… It might make me sound old, but personally, this obsessive, overly structured girl will take 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheets that are neatly tucked underneath her mattress any day! If it is a sign of age, I am indeed extremely old!…Old like a fox!
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