Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And then the ketchup sandwich in the playroom was born…

People have interesting ways of dealing with anger. I remember getting so angry at my sister when I was really young, that I used to huff and puff and feel like I was going to explode. Come on! She broke my Donnie and Marie microphone! MOM! …My mother would say, “girls!”…That's it? Nice Mom! Thanks. That should take care of it! …AAGH!…and then the ketchup sandwich in the playroom was born…it tasted just like a cheeseburger – except without the burger…or the cheese…Okay…so it was just bread. From that day on, my sister could do anything she wanted to me: “Really? Your so late getting ready for school that I have to wait for you to run down the stairs in your footie pajamas as the bus passes us so that we need to sprint to the corner?….NO PROBLEM! That doesn’t bother me at all - I’ll have some ketchup and bread please!”…”Hmm?…You took my new outfit out of my closet while I was sleeping and are wearing it?…No Worry- I hope you cut the tags off! Pickles please!…”

The point is that everyone has their own way of coping with their personal aggravations. I have a family member who has recently decided that her way is to email me death threats in the middle of the night and tell me that “I will die soon enough”…and “If you were younger, I’d give you advice to stop exercising and eating healthy because you’re gonna die soon anyway”…and “A woman’s place is with her husband but you’ll never know about that!”…geez…that’s really sweet. Apparently this is her little way of making herself feel better. I drove down the street with the computer I had just built for a child who didn’t have one, playing her words in my head: “I care about people that you don’t even know exist because you are too busy being self-centered and singing and dancing!”. In my head I thought, "boy…I wonder how I can help her?" I came up with an answer: “I know…I need to send an autoresponse message to these daily bursts of happiness that lets her know that I’m not getting them anymore. That should really help her through this hard time." It read:

Ketchup, pickles and a little bread
Too bad for you that I’m not dead
Your angry message did not reach me
Again I smile cause I’m still peachy

I’m sure that eventually she’ll stop sending them after 20 or 30 of these messages. I’m not playing with her anymore...but my computer is (hee hee). It can deal with her anger management coping mechanism...Thank God my computer is my new ketchup sandwich! It sort of makes her point about me not being empathetic though...but she is definitely miserable enough for the both of us!...