Slim pickins’

It seems as though the singles market is really slowing down. I’m wondering if it’s due to the rising interest rates and the economic slump. I’ve been told that I’m going to have to loosen up my restrictions if I don’t want to be alone. Ok!…so let me get this straight…are you saying that I should go out with your husbands (cause for some reason, married guys seem to be looking for that sort of freedom that I represent)? It doesn’t seem like a great plan from this end actually. But you must know…since you were able to get that “perfect guy” and marry him! The funny thing is that everyone who is single can be heard saying, “there are no single people.”…hmm…so why are both men and women replaying this mantra? I know that I like younger guys! Guys tend to like younger girls. Oh…that can’t be good. I like guys who are smarter than me. Single guys that I meet, like girls who aren’t as smart as them! Excellent! Now we’re talking…finally we’re speaking the same language!…except the truly smart guys seem to already be married with children and in order to impress some of the single guys who like to be smarter than their girlfriends, I’d actually have to wear my shoes on the wrong feet. Well then…I guess that leaves white-collar criminals. I have to admit that they are very smart…other than the getting caught part…but then again, if they’ve already been caught, it will prevent a Madoff scandal for my children one day. Maybe I could get a pen pal in prison or something? Oh well…I suppose there’s something to be said for not settling for the next best thing and knowing that someone who is looking for someone exactly like you is on his way. Possibly he’s been in a coma or something? …or possibly working for Bill Gates programming internet worms! (HOT!)…I hope he wakes up or takes a break soon. I’d hate to waste all this exercise I’ve done for the last 20 years by meeting him when I’m old!