Sunday, October 11, 2009

Do I really have to get a restraining order?

I guess I’m just not ever going to understand people. There has been a 65-year-old man hitting on me for 3 years now- EVERYWHERE I go. (I guess that would’ve made him 63, 64 & 65…whatever…still too old!)… I always try to be nice to people. Well…Apparently “nice” doesn’t work. He asked me out and I said, “no thank you.” He asked me out again, “I explained that I’ve never been married and would like to meet someone my age one day and start a family.” He said, “I’m divorced.”…um…wait…huh?…He came up to me and said, “So what do I need to do to get with you?” I replied, “I don’t know. Kill me and drag me into the woods?”…yeah…that may have been the point that I started to play hardball a little. Was that wrong?…Sorry…Then he came up to me at Christmas and said, “So. It’s Christmas and I haven’t gotten a hug yet.”…I said, “You’re right! (I turned to my keyboard player) Jim! Give this man a hug.” Then I walked away. Now it’s just getting ridiculous. I’ll be listening to my music at the gym and he’ll come up and stand in front of me (with his knee socks pulled up to his waist.) I was talking to a friend on the treadmill next to me and he stood in front of us and started laughing with us as though he was in the conversation. Yesterday, I was talking to a few friends while we did cardio and he came up to the machine next to me and told me that I need to save him a machine next to me next time so we can talk. I said, “uh. These guys are my friends. That’s why I’m talking to them.” …he smiled and said that he’d be there the next day and we could talk then.

Do I really have to go to a different gym now? I don’t understand why he wouldn’t simply take “no” for an answer. Do I really need to have him thrown out of the gym or arrested? Now…I have had issues with guys in the past where they haven’t actually said what they meant and I’ve purposely bothered them as a joke thinking that they might learn the concept for later. Note: This doesn’t actually work…a guy who doesn’t want to simply say, “I’m sorry. I’m just not interested”, really DOES NOT want to say it and NEVER will. (Do not attempt this at home! I am a trained professional. You may actually end up in a life-long stalker relationship with him if you are expecting him to break first! Good thing is though- He can’t get a restraining order against you until he actually tells you to “go away” and then you don’t!)

I guess I’m going to have to ignore him tonight at the gym. I can just pretend not to see him…standing on the back of my elliptical trainer…laughing as I swoosh him away like a fly!…oh geez…Story not over…