Some “Old Guy” was buying us drinks!

I was talking to a friend whose daughter was out in the bar where I sang the other night. Her daughter came out with some of her friends and is 23 years old. Her mother repeated to me what she had said: “Mom! Some old guy was buying us drinks all night! It was so funny!”…WELL…I know which guy was buying those girls drinks all night and the “old guy” she was referring to is 34 years old! The funny thing is that I know that feeling! When I was 27, I met a guy who was 41 years old. He was way out of shape and what I considered to be “my Dad’s age”, yet there was something interesting about him. He was accomplished and had been separated from his wife since I was 10! He certainly was “old” though. The funny thing is that if I had actually dated or ended up with him permanently, he would be REALLY old now! Few! I can’t imagine dating a 50-year-old man now! It sounds so “mature!” The best part about this girl’s actual assessment of the 34-year-old guy is that he struts around these girls as though he believes that they think he’s their age. I mean- he REALLY wants to date a 21-year-old girl. I’m assuming it’s just his insecurity that makes him feel like a big strong man when young girls fall all over him…but the question is, are they “falling all over him?” or are they just going home and giggling about “the old guy buying them drinks all night!”…???hmm…

Age is just a number! The thing about that number is that once you’ve reached 32, it is calculated by young people in dog years! The truth is that 40 sounds really old to a 20-something. I remember a show called “30-something” when I was growing up. It was about these older people who had kids and all sorts of deep family issues. I have to assume that to a 30-something guy, there is something about the freedom that he feels when he is with someone who has the eyes of a child. The heavy conversation doesn’t exist. The weight of a mortgage…or a job for that matter doesn’t exist. Ahh! The sense of freshness and having your whole life ahead of you sweeps you up like a rebirth! I can see where someone who has been loaded down with responsibilities would love to feel that way again! Unfortunately though, those girls will one day want a “re-birth” of their own when they are 40 and their 55 year old husband with a beer belly may not be it anymore! You only live once though! There’s nothing like starting completely over with a maintenance payment to cover your ex-wife, children, and her 35 year old boyfriend at age 55! Ah! Such is life!

I suppose that I’m “old” now too. Oh well! At least now I know things I didn’t know about back then. I know how a young girl thinks. I know how and “old girl” thinks! Lucky me. The point is that often we need a secret decoder ring to interpret the thoughts of someone more than 5 years older or younger than us! 10 years is a little too much no matter how much some of us would like to think it isn’t! I’ve placed an age decoder chart here for those of you who still think it’s worth a try:

Music
50’s-call them phonographs
40’s call them turntables
30’s call them cd’s
20’s call them ipods (They just keep getting smaller.)

Pants
50’s call them trousers
40’s call them parachute pants
30’s call them Jordache
20’s call them leggings

Underwear
50’s call them britches
40’s call them briefs
30’s call them panties
20’s only call them for a special occasion when they want them to show above their low cut jeans

Couch
50’s call them davenports
40’s call them sofas
30’s call them futons
20’s call them a place where they’ve woken up after a long night that they can’t remember

Phone etiquette
50’s call you that night
40’s call you from the office or when their wife isn’t home
30’s call you after 3 days
20’s text you or don’t call at all!