Thursday, April 15, 2010

Desperate Bulk Emailing

I tend to get a lot of emails from random people with big problems. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind other people’s problems, in fact, I relish in them…it’s a sort of sickness that I was sucked into long before I was old enough to know better than to care! Oh well!…At least now I know that I probably can’t help, but sadly still don’t think that it can hurt to try!…Anyway…I got another email from a random guy who was apparently looking to meet a girl online. I have to say that it was a good try, but the problem with this sort of correspondence lies in tone of the message. When the details sound blatantly pathetic, the letter likely won’t provide the expected results. There is no reason to include sentences like “my wife left me and I nearly lost my life”…or “I have decided not to ever marry again!”…um…those are two big no-no’s. When a single girl hears these things, she doesn’t say, “Oh! Good! He’s divorced and miserable! I should snap him right up!”…or… “Excellent! He has decided to never marry again! What I’ve been thinking that I need is a guy who has decided, prior to meeting me that he will never commit to me! My favorite!”…uh…dude…The old Calia would’ve written back explaining why what he wrote wasn’t going to be an affective way of meeting a healthy, nice girl to “not plan his future” with. In fact, I probably would’ve rewritten it and helped him to hack all of the email addresses he had sent it to in order to delete it from the women’s inboxes. Not this time though! I am dismissing it as another ridiculous thing that has touched my life as fuel for fodder that keeps my questioning light burning in the back of my mind- and most of all- pure entertainment! Thank you to whomever it was who sent that. I truly hope you don’t live happily ever after like you don’t want to!