Thursday, April 15, 2010

Nervous and Jumpy?

I was a little offended yesterday when I was talking to the secretary at work, who is very classy and wonderful, and she said “You always make me feel so nervous and jumpy.”…hmm…That seemed less soothing than my intention of making people feel relaxed and at ease. I paused and said, “Geez..thanks a lot...It’s kind of what I was going for.” I like to pretend that people don’t bother me, which is ironic because people generally bother me way more than I should allow them to. I pondered the thought of making people feel nervous and jumpy…hmm…What about me would make people feel that way?…I decided to do a yoga tape when I got home. It was a little slow so I turned the dvd player to play 3 times faster. It actually was a pretty good workout- 10 minutes instead of 30! I was pretty proud of myself for actually doing yoga. Usually I liked spin or high intensity boot camp aerobics. I was now centered and virtually Buddhist. I felt a sigh of relief that there was nothing nervous and jumpy about me! I woke up this morning and turned on a meditation recording that I downloaded last night for my Ipod. I was really working on myself now! I ran on my Nordic-track as it played for nearly 30 minutes!

I think all of this self-exploration has been very good for me. No more nervous and jumpy people. No more uproarious laughter from my friends in the cafeteria as I run a monologue about my mother’s cat. No more skipping down the hall giggling about the evening before! No more smiley miscommunications as I take a cheap shot at someone as though I didn’t know I’ve done it! I am truly centered and grounded now! I’m so excited about this new found me that I can’t wait to get out of work and go for a run to my new relaxation/techno cd! Whooohooo! I FEEL GREAT! I love it when a plan comes together!