Though life is full of fun and excitement, there are times when being alone can get a little old. Like when you’re having a conversation with yourself in your kitchen about ...I don't know...the fact that you just ran from the back of the house to the living room with scissors in your hand and actually stopped yourself to say aloud ..."Whoa! I can't believe that I just ran with scissors! That's freakin' CRAZY!"…you know, a little small talk?...
The strange thing is, every time I turn on the news, there’s another story about a man killing his wife and children… It’s a sign! I have been kept alive purely by the fact that I can’t meet a guy to save my life! …and ironically, it may be the exact thing that’s saved my life! Feewww… I've hung out with guys who were clearly trying to kill me- don’t get me wrong, it was usually by taking me around small puppies or making me go camping (I hated all 5 minutes of that relationship!) Another guy I hung out with for a couple weeks actually stole my garbage can! What the heck did he want with that garbage can? I still can’t, for the life of me, figure out why I pulled into my driveway to find him taking it out of his trunk and putting it on my porch…what the?…hmm… Anyway…it is clear that judging from my apparent lack of ability in the area of knowing when a person is really not a nice person, I’m truly lucky to still be ALIVE! Now… I’m sure that there are a ton of really great guys out there…and hopefully one of them will get cleared of his wife’s alleged murder in time for me to meet him for coffee…I can only dream! I’m the luckiest girl in the world!
…and what could possibly have been up with that garbage can??
OK? What do I do?
14 years ago
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