Saturday, August 8, 2009

Who the heck is he anyway?

I have to wonder if women are better than men at filling in the gaps in their minds about who people really are? I’m actually pretty sure that it often doesn’t even cross most men’s minds. I have known a guy, who I think VERY highly of, for 5 years now. He has consistently been unavailable to me in drastic ways! A normal girl would likely just go away and move on. NOT ME! I actually think it’s hilarious for some reason. I mean…who the heck is this guy? Is my imagination so strong that I have invented a man who far extends his own life’s reality? I think so…and yet, I still sort of wonder. Some may call this “stalkeresque!”…I like to call it “curious and supportive!” I will admit that when I first met him, there was something about him that left me walking away with a feeling of amazement that someone so perfect for me could be out there. We hung out once or twice and while we were together, we laughed, treated each other respectfully and I would even think that he would say that we had a good time. That’s all that was. He quickly he decided that he wasn’t interested in me for whatever reason. I’m strangely Okay with that. The trouble lies in his expression of that fact. Why do guys think that a lack of communication or response is the best method of getting their point across? I have to say that I hate this. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve called after a few “meetings” (I don’t use the word “date” cause I’m sort of closed off to the concept! I don’t like to feel locked into people thinking that I’m “dating” someone…it makes me throw up a little! – likely a story for a different time…or possibly a few years of therapy are in order?…nah…I’m sure it will work itself out! Feeeww!)…Anyway…I have called guys and simply told them that I just didn’t see it working out between us. I've let him know that I appreciated the fact that he was a great guy but wasn’t interested in him at this time…or in some cases told him that I had cd recordings of the voicemail messages he had left me and if he contacted me again, I would get a restraining order…but no hard feelings! Possibly my communication skills are a tiny bit stronger than the average evasive man. I suppose that guys just assume we’ll get the picture. Oh…Well…I get the picture! But for some reason, I would rather have an answer to an unfinished equation than use one of the 40,000 answers that my high functioning brain is able to concoct for lack of having the real one.

So what about this guy? I still think he’s great. On a superficial level, he is well-mannered, friendly, smart, funny…etc…The funny thing is that I’m not even trying to date him anymore though I have to admit that the curiosity is overwhelming. I’m certain that I’m not the only woman he has this sort of “un-relationship” with…and I am very aware of the fact that I shouldn’t really care. But…I find him extremely entertaining!…STILL! Now years later, I get hours of enjoyment out of the 2 minutes that he’s put into thinking about me! I know that he could never live up to the superpowered action hero I have written stories about in my sleep! I can see it now:

Calia pulls up to his house while he’s at work…she opens the front door with a bobby pin…and it isn’t locked anyway due to the fact that the alarm is set and she’ll only have 30 seconds to run the algorithm on the 14 digit passcode…then she discovers that though she is quite competent with the time constraint, the 28 characters of numbers and case sensitive letters that protect his assets, quickly set the scene in motion for some fun!

She knows that she only has enough time to rearrange the furniture a little and steam up the mirror in the bathroom so the next morning when he showers, he sees his morning welcome from a steam apparition of a smiley face wishing him a “happy day!”

She runs down the long hallway and down the stairs to greet the officer as he arrives.

Calia: Hi Officer! I apologize for any inconvenience. I’m completely in the wrong here.

Officer: What are you doing here Miss?

Calia explains the years of lack of events leading up to this day as she hands him a warm cookie that she made in the car on the way. It’s on a covered plate marked, “For the kind officer who is doing his civic duty to protect and serve!”

Officer: You're right Miss. You take the bedroom. I'll take the bathroom! We don’t have much time.

He radios for help and the helicopter soon shows up to let out “information sniffing dogs” that are careful not to scuff the perfectly buffed hardwood floors. After carefully rummaging through his Italian made designer shoe collection and his hand folded underwear drawers and then checking under the towels that are neatly stacked inside his bathroom closet which is marked simply, “His”, Calia and the team of investigators are satisfied that he absolutely does not exist.
She leaves, having formed lasting, lifelong friendships with her new team of detectives, knowing that she has truly done all that she can. Perhaps this guy will call her one day and tell her absolutely nothing…cause that’s her polite, sweet boy that nobody knows…and everybody loves!…I mean…what are friends for?



Awesome work Calia! Love your thoughts. Genuine and free flowing. Keep it going..........