Monday, August 17, 2009

Crisscross applesauce

Well…the world has finally lost its mind. I was teaching a group of children with my sister and asked a child if she could sing while sitting in “Indian style.” …yep…that’s right! You can see where this one is going can’t you?…my sister ridiculed me for calling it that and repeated it to the kids as they said it back in unison, “crisscross apple-sauce”…um…I have officially lost my mind. Is it really just me who thinks that it’s possible that we have gone a little too far now? It’s as though by not having children yet, an entire generation of political correctness has made me feel completely illiterate. I have to wonder how many others I’ve missed. I’ll be sure to take this matter to heart. I’m going to watch for things around town that I can start calling then the appropriate terms:

Metabolically Challenged (fat)
Strong maths and sciences (socially inept)
Cream-skinned (white person)
Street-side operations manager (drug pusher)
Mature man with convertible (midlife crisis)
Man with truck (man who can’t afford a BMW)
Girl with really nice eyes (counter girl)
Man with psycho ex-wife (man who cheated on wife)
On the liver transplant list (Alcoholic)

I know that this is an area I need to work on. Saying it like it is seems to be getting me into trouble repeatedly! An older man tried to have me thrown out of the Country Club the other day cause when he made a bad joke and said it was a bad joke, I agreed with him and said, “Yeah. Actually it sucked.”…what?…it did….I was just agreeing with him…I’m never going to get this right! I need an instruction manual!