The Hands-free Breakfast Sandwich

It is interesting how the hands-free law decides what is safe to do when you’re driving. I watched a lady eating a breakfast sandwich on the highway today and wondered how she was steering with her elbows. I could actually smell the egg and cheese as it dripped out onto her blouse…of course, now it appeared that I wasn’t watching the road anymore either…It was as though her breakfast sandwich was also distracting me from the task at hand. I sort of wanted a sandwich now though…so I picked up my phone and called my sister instead. I thought that would help me get back on focus!…hee hee…no…I’m just kidding. I don’t even talk on my phone in my house without my bluetooth. It may not be cool, but I don’t use it in public so why not be free to not hold a small computer next to my face? I can do dishes, I can cook, I can even workout. It’s extremely convenient if you ask me!

The other day, I watched a lady pulling into the parking lot while she held her open smartphone in front of her face instead of next to her ear…um…no…you are not going “hands-free” just because you have your phone set to speaker phone if you are still holding it in the air with your hands. I have sort of a little test that helps me to know if I’m following the “hands-free” law or not. Here it is: If I am using my hands to hold the phone, I am not “hands-free!”…See how easy that is? It’s really the word “hands” that I focus on so that I don’t misinterpret my actions. “Oh. I didn’t know that officer,” only works if you are completely stupid…and who wants a policeman to think you’re completely stupid? Come to think of it, there should be a ticket for that! It would really cut down on the accidents! “Driving while stupid”: 10 points on your license and a fine of roadside litter in the equivalent value of $500…It would really cut down on roadside litter if you ask me!