Email: Please Read this email!

Oh geez…These subject lines in my email are so enticing. I’m not sure they can be trusted though. For a while there, I was getting to work to find 15 emails in my inbox with the subject “You look so stupid today Croze.” I have to say that it hurt me a little you know?…After all, I had worked nearly all day on the previous Sunday to put together 5 perfect outfits and accessories so during the week, I could wake up, work out, jump in the shower and go off to work looking the best I could (with what I had to work with of course…and actually it wasn’t bad if I did say so myself.) BUT…apparently someone was watching and thought I looked stupid on a daily basis. I would run to the ladies room to see if I had accidentally over-moussed my hair into a Mohawk or something…After all-That would’ve looked a little stupid with my knee-length skirt and high boots…Nope…no Mohawk. Feewww…I didn’t look obviously stupid to the point that a little person inside my computer would’ve noticed. Granted, I sometimes play a little game that makes me sound stupid once in awhile, but that is just one of those blonde acts that I have found makes people feel more comfortable with saying stupid things around me themselves. It allows me to pull memories of my daily encounters out of my head at random throughout the evening for personal amusement…I know…I’m a little childish and gamey sometimes!…whatcha gonna do? Where the harassing emails were concerned though, eventually I decided to create a rule in my email that put all of the “you look stupid CRoze” and “Look at your stupid face here Croze” emails in a separate folder that I could choose to go to when I felt like beating myself up with a tiny bit of negative self-talk! On a bad day, I could just pull a chocolate cake out of my top drawer and open the folder so I could be sure to make my day as bad as possible!…ah!…Asi Es La Vida!
So today I got all sorts of emails with the subject, “Please Read!”…No! I’m not falling for that crap! I feel so silly when I get sucked into spam. I hope no one expects me to read any of my real email… “Someone has sent you an Ecard”… “Important”… “You may already have won!”…Actually, I open the “you may already have won” ones…what if I have already won something good and I didn’t open it? I’m not an idiot you know! (oops…virus…reformat…hmm…Oh well! Now I have a brand new computer again! Lucky me! I guess I did win! Whoohooo!) It seems that there are so many people “crying important” that I don’t believe them when it is. I don’t like to be a sucker, but I don’t like to be insensitive either. I’m sure that that guy from a different country who can’t seem to remember which country he’s in from correspondence to correspondence really needs me to cash that fake money order through my account! Far be it for me to question him!
I wish we could simply trust everyone blindly. Personally I still have hope that there’s good in everyone but sometimes a few bad seeds taint my Pollyanna view. One time I was in the middle of singing when a guy came up to me, showed me a knife, plunged it into his chest and then fell under my dress on the stage!…I wasn’t falling for that old “stab yourself in the chest” trick! It was Friday the 13th and I was certain that it was a collapsible knife. I didn’t miss a step as I danced over him. We kept singing and the bartender ran up and pulled the knife out thinking that it was a joke too. The blood started pouring out when he did though…oops…not a fake knife!…Well! I guess that’ll teach people not to “cry knife” in front of me so often! No one’s going to pull the wool over my eyes twice!…Sorry. Oh well… he lived!…and I still believe that people are basically good. Sometimes they just get cluttered with everyday stuff that brings out the worst in them…and then they use it- to the extreme! But I still won’t believe they are bad- Even if they do send me emails with the subject line “Boy you sure can’t get a guy. I guess no one likes you.”