Suction Cups suck

Who invented suction cups? They seem like such a great idea…but…when the temperature rises or lowers by 10 degrees, you get everything that’s suction cupped to your window, in your lap. This can be a huge distraction. There I was, driving down the highway, as my GPS leaped from my window onto the floor on the passenger side, hitting the hazard light button and bouncing off the gear shift on its way. Whoa!…I thought, “This is freakin’ Joel’s fault!” …I actually think that this is hilarious. He’s pretty much the person I blame for everything. I don’t really believe it (completely), as it has been 7 years since we broke up…but he really did act sort of like a suction cup! He stuck to me while the temperature was right for him (falling off a few times a week of course! I’d just pick him up and stick him back on!) By the time he crashed to the floor the last time, shifting my transmission into neutral, he had already stuck himself to someone else’s window. Clearly the world is really just full of suction cups that can only be counted on if all factors are perfectly aligned! I have to say that I’m pretty sick of suction cups! I’m going to invent some sort of window attachment device that is less susceptible to climate change. How about superglue? At least that way when I was done with whatever I had mounted to it, I could just take it to the dump so no one else gets to drive around town with it.