Friday, September 25, 2009

Am I misconfiguring my buffer zone?

I have been assessing my dating successes lately. It seems as though every guy I’ve ever “hung out” with has married a girl while they are hanging out with me or soon after. How can this be? It’s not like I don’t ask the right questions. Do you have a girlfriend? You would think that this would be one that wouldn’t need to be asked if a guy was asking me out but you’d be surprised! Are you married? …another question that you wouldn’t think to ask unless you have run across many guys who felt guilty enough to actually answer with the words, “Yes, but it’s been over for a long time.”…um…does she know it’s over?…Unbelievable. All I can come up with is that my buffer zone is misconfigured. It seems that while I think I’m “taking things slowly”, someone else is getting in and marrying the guy. I talked to a guy in Brazil for a few months and then the next thing I knew, he was married. I will never understand how this happens. How are all these guys marrying women that they aren’t even dating? I do tend to tread very lightly in the beginning. I hate to be called someone’s girlfriend if it isn’t in that stage. I suppose it could be the fact that I’m not pushing enough and the guy’s ego isn’t getting stroked with an unhealthy balance of jealousy and relentless pursuit? The thing about that is that this balance is very delicate. Guys love to chase a girl…but they will only chase her if they feel like they are getting somewhere. I honestly have no idea what to do. I’m truly numb to caring anymore. Why would I work myself up over someone who is probably pretending to be someone he isn’t?

I have to say that I’m really confused about this. I have always been extremely honest, and for some reason, it seems to work against me. People are uncomfortable with honest communication. I’m not sure how I should proceed. I suppose that if I need to “investigate” a guy before I date him, that’s not a great start to happily ever after. Maybe I could just have each guy who asks me out, fill out a questionnaire:

Aliases (if any)___________________,___________________________
Previous/current girlfriend/wife’s phone number______________________
Education level (no- the “school of hard knocks does not count)_____________

Possibly this simple form in combination with a lie detector test will solve my troubles! I hope it will be well received. Possibly I’ll put it on the back of my business card with my phone number in binary code? That’ll be sure to weed out the truly uncreative and disinterested!