Tuesday, March 23, 2010

How Do You Use this thing?

I believe in making life easier with acronyms and memory games. In fact, I used to have a business card that gave out my phone number in binary code. I always figured that this would be the best way to weed out the riff raff that wasn’t familiar with basic math skills. This actually didn’t work very well. As it turns out, the hottest guys aren't always the smartest ones... but that is a story for another time. Oh well...I bring this up because I was just trying to dial customer service for my cellular provider from my blackberry. I looked at the numbers on the keypad….um…where are the letters? How exactly am I supposed to know how to dial a word? There are no letters on a keypad with a full keyboard. Technology has made 1-800-DIAL-US so that it may as well be 1-800-YOU’RE SCREWED CAUSE THERE ARE NO LETTERS ON THESE KEYS!…I can hear the operator voice response now: “The number you have reached, 8,0,0, 1,9,6,4,2,5,6,7,2,3,5,6,9,1,0,7,7,8, has been changed. Please hang up, check the number and dial again.” …Excellent. Thank you.

I was in my office today and noticed that someone had apparently used my corded phone. I could tell because apparently the next generation has no idea how to hang up a phone with a cord. The cord was wrapped around to the other side of the phone. There was no semblance of order. I felt huge discontentment and wondered how anyone could not know that the cord doesn’t get tangled around the desk chair, up underneath the back of the table, around the front of the phone and over the dial. Who the heck had done this? I bet that same person puts the toilet paper on the roll so it comes from underneath. Again…this is just common sense in my book. Maybe it’s just preference though. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Some of us just have more ritualistic tendencies like…say…putting on shoes in the morning…I mean…Who would know unless they had been taught how to actually do it?…I ran into a teenager the other day who thought that the word “bambino” meant “a tiny deer.”…I guess it makes sense. Bambi was a deer. Who could fight him on his deduction?

The point is that the world is full of old traditions that are being lost in the translation from generation to generation. I still say, “roll down the window” on a car. I bet there are kids who have no idea what I’m talking about. What can you do though? It is much easier to push a button to get your window open…unless of course your electrical system isn’t working in which case, you could be stuck in your car forever…at least until On-star contacts someone to come get you out! Very handy if you ask me! In my parent’s day, driving cars that didn’t go above 45mph with saran wrap covering the windows that wouldn’t stay up prevented people from getting stuck in them due to technology. Not to mention the fact that the am radio that buzzed through the speakers and changed pitch when you hit the brakes kept you from falling asleep on the highway! All good!

Oh well! I do love technological advances and my gadgets are the joy of my life. I hope this world continues to grow in that way…at least until we all get stuck in our cars and robots take over the earth…or Obama does…