Sunday, July 26, 2009

What? You’re only 32? Did you take that picture of yourself in the future?

I am really starting to wonder about people these days. I know…I’d hate to say it…don’t tell anyone…and I’m going to whisper this…shh…I think people may lie sometimes! THERE! I said it. Apparently not everyone is terrific and wonderful and has a glimmer of beauty in them. Shoot! My rosie glasses that are half full of hope for society have been poured over my head a few too many times now. A guy on yahoo contacted me because he thought he’d like to get together sometime. I’m sure he’s very nice but he said he was 32. Okay. 32 is good. I’d email him for a few weeks and then he will likely either disappear or stalk me. (There’s really nothing in between with me for some reason. I’m certain this is something I’m doing and will take full responsibility for this. My dating life has always been a little bit manic-depressive!…but then again…I suppose that’s better than ADD dating. At least in the manic stage, you can have a little fun…and the depressive stage leaves a little extra time to kick a little some TV!)

Anyway…the 32 year old…What exactly was he thinking when he sent his picture? If he was indeed 32 years old, he had apparently been overworked or had done a lot of drinking, smoking, been in a few dog-fights, raised 15 children, been a crack addict, etc… Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying that he didn’t look good…well… I suppose I am… but I didn’t want to sound harsh! Actually, if he had told me he was 50 years old, I wouldn’t have noticed that he didn’t look all that great. What was he thinking? I always tell the truth right up front. I’m 23. hee hee… Okay. Not really. I usually say that I am 62 so the person says, “Wow! You look really great for your age!” I guess I just can’t figure out what good it would be to lie about your age?? What if you get to know each other and one day the two of you go to the DMV? Personally…I like to save myself the trouble of being surprised and cut off a leg and count the rings right when I meet a guy! There’s really no reason to try so hard to be something you’re not. What if he likes the person you’re pretending to be? How could you ever be her forever? Now…I know that I take this to the extreme (quite unsuccessfully I might add!). I like to act as annoying as possible and point out all of my ridiculous flaws right on the first date. That way there are no surprises. I’ll order something that has walnuts in it and swell up beyond recognition to the point of being truly the ugliest I could ever be… or have an asthma attack and throw a temper tantrum over the guy having dog hair on his clothes! That gives me the opportunity to say, “Well. I tried! He just didn’t like who I am!”