tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1824289567544609002.post1646152882998705419..comments2023-12-11T07:54:53.153-05:00Comments on Living life! Single after 30!: Nice Guys Finish Last?Calia Rozehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05067341971617800191noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1824289567544609002.post-44410112988051822402010-02-08T19:13:10.000-05:002010-02-08T19:13:10.000-05:00There is definitely something to be said for bring...There is definitely something to be said for bringing in more of the same by expecting it. How many times have you repeated the story in your own head about girls "not wanting what you have to offer?"...I know this all too well!...as a matter of fact, it was my "act" for many years. I have to admit that the negative self-talk still creeps in sometimes BUT I'm trying to avoid it. If you say it over and over again, even you will start to believe it. If you believe that no one is out there, you will always fulfill your wish that no one will be out there! At least you won't be wrong! I, however, don't believe that for you. I believe that you should stop yourself from saying anything in regard to "failing in this area" and especially "resolving yourself to stay single forever"...unless of course you want to. None of us really want to, but sometimes we feel like it would be easier to believe that we do, and be pleasantly surprised when we don't, than to believe that the person is also looking for us but keeps running into the "same old jerk" over and over again just long enough to pass the time until the two of you happen to be in the same room together!<br /><br />My advice is to repair the thoughts (that, at times are so well documented that this tall order seems ridiculous) that leave you standing in the same place time and time again. Change the self-talk into something positive and remove the beliefs that limit you. I mean...how ridiculous does it really sound that you'd be alone forever? (Sometimes it does seem that way though!- but forever is a very long time!) You can't afford to get discouraged because it's confidence that attracts women to men. Without it, the "bad guy" will walk out the door with the girl every time! He sucks and so does the girl who wants him! Let them live unhappily everafter together- her, him, his secretary, his alimony payment, his kids, her kids, his wife's kids, his baggage, and her resentment for having never met someone like you!<br /><br />Please don't ever give up. Walk into the next room you enter with your head held high playing the words over and over again in your head, "thank God I'm not wasting time with the wrong girl! Someone wonderful is looking for me! I wonder if she's here tonight?" If not tonight...then the next...or the next...but she will find you as long as you don't bury your head so deeply that you can't see her wave at you from across the room! <br /><br />I'm sending you good energy! Happy day Steve! Believe in a little magic- especially when you need it the most!<br /><br />Calia :)Calianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1824289567544609002.post-63601594301589370002010-02-08T19:12:55.000-05:002010-02-08T19:12:55.000-05:00Steve-
I wrote this blog because I met a guy who...Steve- <br />I wrote this blog because I met a guy who had a similar attitude and I wanted him to understand the reasons why he was thinking that "being nice" was the problem. Unfortunately, recurring bad luck in the dating department perpetuates more bad luck due to the damage it does to our self-esteem. THIS IS NOT JUST A GUY ISSUE! I agree completely that sometimes it is easier not to try at all because not getting your hopes up often feels better than the let down at the end of the day when your hopes of something you excitedly believed in, turns out to be something completely different. Again I want to let you know that I more than understand what it feels like to meet the exact same person over and over again, each time with a different name and facade that quickly fades into more of the same garbage that you so had hoped to avoid due to previous experience with the type. Yes! It is true that it appears that there are far more jerks out there (men and women alike)than there are kind and considerate people, but luckily that's why we call her/him "the one!" - There only has to be one who clears your distorted, but well warranted perception, that "no one wants a nice guy!" "No one wants a nice guy" should be replaced by "the girls I've run into don't seem to appreciate what a nice guy has to offer them due to their own set of circumstances that have taught them to believe that they deserve or want something else." Those girls will find something else, but luckily they aren't going to waste your time while they are searching for it because they will end up far unhappier than the person you devote your life to. Will they know that they are unhappy? Who knows? It really doesn't matter if they know it or not because the person who is right for you will know, and let you know how happy she is to have found exactly what she was looking for in you.Calianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1824289567544609002.post-40596428575993840682010-02-08T16:16:53.000-05:002010-02-08T16:16:53.000-05:00Alas, I can't agree this time Calia. Nothing a...Alas, I can't agree this time Calia. Nothing about my last year suggests that nice guys finish anything but last. I find myself bloodied on the tracks I said I would avoid, I'm afraid. Confidence in myself is lost. Not that it matters, as I can't imagine I'll ever find a girl who is not going to treat me badly.<br /><br />I have accepted my failings in this area, and have resolved to stay single forever. I surrender. I just can't go on.<br /><br />SteveStevenoreply@blogger.com